Loss and grief go through many stages. A memorial service or ash spreading some weeks, months or years after the loss of a loved one can be a powerful and healing way to celebrate the love shared and memories you will always hold.

At a memorial you will likely be in a different emotional place from the funeral.

So here are some helpful considerations for memorials or ash spreading services;

  1. Is there a place and/or date of significance to hold this memorial ceremony?
  2. Is there someone who can help create the ceremony and hold the space so you can feel your feelings on the day?
    • A funeral celebrant or minister could help you through this time preparing, on the day, and possibly after.
  3. What ‘journey’ have you been on since the passing of your loved one – how are you different now in relation to your loss?
  4. If an ash spreading – who will spread ashes?
  5. Will others participate?
    • If so how?
  6. Are there any religious/spiritual beliefs of your loved one who died or those attending that you would like to consider?
    • This will determine the reference to god/spirituality/prayers etc.
  7. Is there a memorial token or order of service to be given out?
    • If so how many people will be in attendance, so how many will you need?
  8. Who will be present?
  9. Is there anyone who will be missing but needs to be mentioned?
  10. Would you like to open the space for anyone who may have something to say (like an informal eulogy)?
  11. Will there be a gathering after?
    • If so where etc?

Find many free resources on our site about how you can prepare for end-of-life, from conversations in our Tea Rooms, tips about legal requirements, funeral planning, memorials and celebrations. Or take a look in our shop. A portion of proceeds from sales are donated to plant trees with Ancient and Sacred Trees or support environmental projects with Sussex Green Living.